Greg Young

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Get Rich Quick With Network Security

September 30th, 2008 · 12 Comments

Get a glass jar or empty coffee can and a marker. 

Write on the container in bold letters "Security Silly Jar: $0.25".

Have people put a quarter in the Security Silly jar every time they say:

  1. ‘UTM’ and ‘Enterprise’ in the same sentence.
  2. in fact, anytime they same UTM.
  3. Manage and Threat in the same sentence.  Besides from solving security by becoming the world overlord of hackers and natural events, you could get a sweet triple quarter win with the first 3 on this list.  The Security Silly Jar is cruel and unforgiving.
  4. the security market will converge and we’ll all be buying from SingleBigSecCo.  Yes yes - pay no attention to the hundreds of security companies. <achoo!>  Oh look - one security company was bought and three new ones were announced when I sneezed!
  5. network and host security will converge.
  6. when discussing security, any two of the following in the same sentence: green, virtual, cloud, as-a-service, Moore’s Law, stealth-mode, holistic, market-leading, commodity, transformative, game-changer, quantum, or plug-and-play.
  7. they are creating a new security buying center.  Um, I bet there is no budget for that…
  8. no-one uses IPS for blocking.  If that were the case, all those people want that annual spend of $1B back.
  9. software can’t be secure.  Could you please at least try….
  10. security education is the best safeguard. 
  11. we only need to rely on host security because the perimeter is changed/disappeared/a-budget-I-as-a-host-security-salesperson-want-to-go-after.  I will pay you a quarter from the Security Silly Jar if you connect your HR/payroll server to the Internet without any network safeguards.  Hackers will however charge you more to get it back.
  12. anything bad about Gartner security analyst Greg Young.

See you in the Bahamas.

Tags: Uncategorized

12 responses so far ↓

  • 1 John Pescatore // Oct 1, 2008 at 5:03 am

    Number 9 is hard to resist, but how about “software can’t be secure”?

  • 2 Greg Young // Oct 1, 2008 at 8:45 am

    Good addition, along with a corollary. Changes made. I think this list could grow.

  • 3 Get Rich Quick With Network Security | securosis.com // Oct 1, 2008 at 11:55 am

    [...] Young over at Gartner has a humorous post on possibly the best way to make money in network security- the “Security Silly Jar”. [...]

  • 4 Stiennon // Oct 1, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    How about “Trusted Third Party”

    Hey, do you have to be a Gartner analyst (or ex analyst) to post comments here? Or just a friend of Greg (FoG)

    -RS

  • 5 Fun Reading on Security - 8 [Anton Chuvakin Blog - "Security Warrior"] | Small Business System // Oct 3, 2008 at 4:26 am

    [...] Finally, some security humor from Gartner (!): “Get Rich Quick With Network Security” [...]

  • 6 Links for 2008-10-01 [del.icio.us] [Anton Chuvakin Blog - "Security Warrior"] | Small Business System // Oct 3, 2008 at 4:36 am

    [...] Get Rich Quick With Network Security [...]

  • 7 Gary Hinson // Oct 3, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    “Security solution” deserves a dime.

    And GRC market.

    Oh and paradigm, don’t forget paradigm.

    What do you have against Greg Young, except that is a Gartner analist? [Oh, I think I just answered my own rhetorical question.]

  • 8 » Fique Rico com Segurança de Redes // Oct 3, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    [...] costumo reproduzir conteúdo de outros lugares aqui, mas este post no blog do Gartner Group está sensacional. Quem trabalha na área vai se ver em várias situações, quem não trabalha [...]

  • 9 Amrit // Oct 3, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    Nice!

    About time you boys got a sense of humor =)

  • 10 Gartner DOES have a sense of humor - sometimes « Amrit Williams Blog // Oct 3, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    [...] and humorous, such as this post form Greg Young on how to get rich from network security (here) - both time Grumpy and the bear got a sense of humor Get a glass jar or empty coffee can and a [...]

  • 11 Pete Hillier // Oct 3, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    It must be Friday and Greg has reverted back to his CELE, ring-knocking, days of too many wobbly pops during lunch! How are you doing Greg?

    Pete Hillier, (ex 291er made good)
    Allstream

  • 12 Greg Young // Oct 3, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Hi Pete!

    Ouch - as a former direct entry oficer, security branch meathead (81), you really know how to hurt a guy ;)

    There are a great number of us ex-military and ex-Government types in the computer security union - a great fraternity, and a good number of Canucks amongst them.

    Thanks for saying hi!

    Greg

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