Network VendorSpeak is one of those things we as networking folks have to deal with. It isn’t fun, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with it. Fifteen months back, I blogged 25 examples, and here’s another 10 (actually 11… because you should always give 110%).
Vendors Says… ——-> What the vendor actually means…
- “Business as Usual” ——-> Things will change dramatically within the next year.
- “We’ve dramatically improved the product” ——-> The product is less bad.
- “We just added this new cool feature” ——-> You will be our QA department if you enable it.
- “This solution really scales” ——-> This solution is overbuilt and expensive.
- “Don’t worry, it will be fine” ——-> I will be transitioning off your account within the next year so it’s not really my problem anyway.
- “I will be transitioning off your account” ——-> We’re bringing in another sales exec to extract more money from you.
- “We’ll agree to disagree” ——-> I will tell your manager’s boss that you’re an idiot.
- “Try and buy” ——-> Were really having trouble getting people to pay for this product outright.
- “Let me get back to you on that” ——-> You’re probably stupid for asking that question but I need to get the official answer from corporate to confirm.
- “Hey let’s grab a quick bite to just catch up…” ——-> I haven’t retired my quota yet and was hoping you would buy some stuff.
- “I wouldn’t buy that other company’s product, I’ve heard rumors they are in financial trouble…” ——-> That other companies product is probably better/cheaper than ours.
ps – VendorSpeak is very closely related to VendorMath
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